Can't. Sleep.

Well, I can't sleep. So I thought I'd write a little... although I don't really know what to write. I went home this weekend and it was great! I got to work a little and see mostly everyone I missed! I went to the Walmart at home to buy Madagasgar 3 and the lady working in the electronics department was basically useless which resulted in me searching all over for this movie and not finding it :/ guess ill just have to make a trip to Walmart here in London.. Haha oh well!

I also spent some time this weekend chatting with old friends from high shool. So that was pretty cool catching up the past 7 years of our lives.

I've been doing pretty good with "the situation" as well. It still sucks and how it happened sucks but there's nothing I can do to fix or change anything and I think I'm coming to terms with that.

God stuff has been okay..not great like it was a few months ago. I need to find a really good devotional to read!! I'm not able to make it to church every week because of work so I need to get on that!! Anyone have any good suggestions?

Anyways..

41. (I think) KN - I'm thankful for this person! This person is wonderful and is someone who I have built a great friendship with. We have been super close at times and not so close at others. I think we're heading back to being close again! I'm happy that this person is a part of my life. Someone I can talk to about anything and knows pretty much all the important things about my life.

I need to start finding more things to be thankful for! I'm going to try for at least 3 things every day! And I'm also going to attempt to do random acts of kindness or send little encouraging messages to my friends via text or Facebook or twitter or something. So be prepared for some nice things and some encouraging words :)

...

39. C & C - two people I have built friendships with during my practicum! :)

40. DJ & Hall & Kids- Teacher and ECE that I had the privilege of working with in Kindergarten! I will miss them all!!

I am sucking at this whole keeping up on my blog thing... and the thankful thing too :/ = FAIL

So this week I started back at Western in classes...they are going okay so far I suppose!  I miss my class though.  Hopefully I will get to stop in on Friday on my way home - if my meeting doesn't go too long!  I get to go home this weekend!!! I'm excited! I get to see my bestie and were going to a birthday "party" :P

I got crappy hours at work this week, so I'll be picking up some shifts at home!! Here I come McDs!!

Well... I seem to have gotten far more boring than I was at the beginning of this blog thing.. I feel like I have nothing to write about - just on a break between classes right now sooo maybe I'll do something interesting later to write about :P

Blurgh!

Again, I haven't been writing on my blog... and I don't know why, because I usually feel better when I do.  Helps me get things off my chest in a way.  And speaking of getting things off my chest - I have been having a not so great evening :(

Actually, it's been a really hard week.  My best friend went down to the states on Wednesday for her brothers wedding this weekend and I really miss her.  And him.  I'm not going to lie.  It really sucks for me and I don't want it to.  I still love him and care about him and I want him to be happy, and this is what is making him happy, so I should be happy for him - and I am!  But it's still hard.  And it still sucks for me.  And I'm being a big baby and sulking about it.  Things were going okay for a while, and then I just knew this day was coming up and I've been stressing myself out over it for no real reason.  I don't want to cry about it any more and I don't want to be sad.  I just want to get over it - and sometimes I feel like I can, and then other times I feel like I never will :( I just feel so alone and that sucks too.

Things with the Big Guy (God) haven't been the greatest lately either, and I know that's a HUGE factor in how I'm feeling.  I was doing good a couple months ago and I was doing really good at putting my trust in Him and talking to Him all the time.  I don't know what happened... yes I do... I started believing lies again!  What is wrong with me?!  I know the things that I'm thinking in my head are not true and yet I still choose to believe the lies... BLURGH!!!  I was doing a devotional before, Battlefield of the Mind, and I really liked it and it was helping a lot.  And then it was over and I started a new one that was kind of lame and I stopped doing it and I think that's where I fell off the grid... fail.  I think I want to get the book Battlefield of the Mind and read it.  I think it will really help.  Problem is that I don't have the extra money to spend on books, or anything really.

Sometimes I hate being a student and living on my own... bills, bills, bills.  But I still love it, because I can handle it!

I wrote a quote on twitter the other day, "So long as you live in the past, you will never find your future."  And it is soooo true!  But, I have to stop living in the past.. and I'm trying not to, but it's really hard when I haven't 'moved on' yet... and I really want to move on :(  I also wrote another one, "God has perfect timing.  Never early and never late.  And it takes a little patience and a lot of faith."  And that's true too! Except I think it takes a little more than just a little patience... I feel like I have been patient for SO LONG! I just want something good to happen... anything!! Something that will help me move on and make me happy again.

I have not even been thinking of what to be thankful for the past while - fail again!! I don't even know what number I am at 30something... But I am thankful for the new friendships I am building with other student teachers at my practicum.  C & C are two people that I have built friendships with and I think they are pretty great people.  I enjoy seeing them everyday at work and I like talking to them :) hopefully they like seeing and talking to me too!  I am also thankful for getting to work with D.J. in her Kindergarten class.  I really am learning a lot from her and I'm thankful for the great reference she will give me one day in the, hopefully near, future!

Now that I've cried it out and blogged about some things, I feel a little better...

I would really appreciate some prayers from my friends, especially tomorrow.  Thank you!