Self-Esteem

I am writing this as someone who has struggled with poor self-esteem.  Maybe I haven't been so obvious in my struggles, or maybe I have - I don't know - but the struggle has been there for a long time and this is what I have found in my reading and research for my girls event at The Door - Huntsville next week.  I know all of these things, and I know that I am more precious to God than rubies, but it is still something that I struggle with from time to time.

Self-esteem is how each individual values herself.  Poor self-esteem (bad, condemning feeling about yourself) are weights that keep believers under condemnation and cause them to be less than what God intends. Believers are to combat such feelings of inferiority.

Hebrews 12:1, 2 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that isset before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith...

                                                                                 Let us run with perseverance
                                                                                           Let us fix our eyes on Jesus

Proper self-esteem in a follower of Christ is a matter of recognizing and confronting yourself in your humility, including the tendency to sin. 

1 Peter 2:25 - For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

It is also a matter of embracing Jesus' work on the cross - His grace that covers a multitude of sins. The process of comprehending God's infinite care for an individual - each with unique strengths and weaknesses - puts a perspective on self-esteem.  Psalm 139 expresses the wonder of being uniquely created by God and the intimate care of His presence at all times.  Jesus tenderly described His love for His children.

Matthew 6:25-34 - Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ Forthe Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Prerequisites to Healthy Self-Esteem
~ Recognize the need of a Saviour

Isaiah 53:6 - All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

~ Accept being "in the beloved"

Ephesians 1:6 - to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Romans 8:1 - There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

~ Move forward in God's plan for your life

Philippians 3:13, 14 - Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal forthe prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

~ Have a REALISTIC view of yourself

Romans 12:3 - For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

~ AVOID comparisons to others

2 Corinthians 10:12 - Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

Healthy Self-Esteem Characteristics:
~ Resting in "ownership" by God

1 Corinthians 3:16 - Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?

~ Submitting to being the "workmanship" of God

Ephesians 2:10 - For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

~ Appreciating the differences of others

1 Corinthians 12

~ Willingness to take risks // steps of faith

Esther 4:13-16 - Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the king's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.”

~ Forging good relationships with others

Ruth 1:16, 17 - But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

God does not evaluate human worth as we do.  He looks to the heart within, while we tend to look only at the outer frame.

1 Samuel 16:7 - But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Peter 3:3, 4 - Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

The heart of a health self-esteem is recognizing that "self" must be seen as created for God's glory.  We might more accurately say that within every believer there must be "God-esteem," which accepts whatever lot in life is ours.

We must be willing to change weaknesses into strengths when possible - and when that is not possible, we are to look for opportunities for God to be glorified even in our failures and suffering.  God does not make mistakes, and He is never finished working in us as He continues to refine and edify, helping each woman reach her maximum potential. 

1 Peter 5:10 - And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Negatives can be changed into positives and tragedies into triumphs with the Saviours touch. 

Jesus became one of us so that we could be one of His.  In securing our salvation, God did more than forgive us; He made us members of His family.

Ephesians 2:19 - So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.

Tatting Out Fear

A friend posted the link to this blog/article today and I really liked it!
Good points and makes ya think!
Read it! I posted it below!

Tatting Out Fear - http://sarabstacy.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/1148/

For nearly 10 years I have wanted a tattoo. At first it was a cross on my back, and I very nearly got it one night while I was interning in Alabama. The last few years it has changed to something on the inside of my left wrist. For the last 18 months strong it has been the bridge of a certain song. It means alot to me, and it serves as a reminder in my life.

If you happen to look at my left hand, inside the wrist you will note that there is no tattoo there. Why, you may be apt to ask, is that so? Straight up fear. Not fear of the permanence of a tattoo. Not fear of the needle. Nope, fear of my dad.

My dad sat my sister and I down one evening when I was around 11. Several of my sister’s high school friends were getting ankle tattoos of a rose to celebrate their upcoming graduation. My sister had asked my dad what he thought of that. My father, being a highly opinionated man, told us what he thought. “There are two kinds of people in this world with tattoos. Sailors and whores. Now, are you two joining the Navy?“To say that stuck with me is an understatement, since it’s 20 years past and I still fear my dad’s reaction to getting a tattoo. (Sidenote: My dad is very traditional and came from a strict, religious household…)

In a step towards getting a tattoo this year, I had my ears pierced over the holidays. I thought if I was going to go through the pain of tattooing I should probably also have my ears pierced. One evening while I was thinking about that conversation it struck me, I do the same thing with God. I live in fear of my past. I fear that He is just waiting to repay me what I did back in 2001, that when He finds out, I am done for.

Fear does not bring me to God but it pushes me from Him. It makes me run in the opposite direction and believe He is full of wrath and anger, rather than the loving picture I should have of Him. This kind of fear, an unhealthy, unfounded one…that’s not from God. It’s deceptive and a lie. It breeds contempt for God rather than awe and respect. When I carry that fear, I put a divide between God and myself that I continue to build upon.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

What is fear lying to you about today?

Can't. Sleep.

Well, I can't sleep. So I thought I'd write a little... although I don't really know what to write. I went home this weekend and it was great! I got to work a little and see mostly everyone I missed! I went to the Walmart at home to buy Madagasgar 3 and the lady working in the electronics department was basically useless which resulted in me searching all over for this movie and not finding it :/ guess ill just have to make a trip to Walmart here in London.. Haha oh well!

I also spent some time this weekend chatting with old friends from high shool. So that was pretty cool catching up the past 7 years of our lives.

I've been doing pretty good with "the situation" as well. It still sucks and how it happened sucks but there's nothing I can do to fix or change anything and I think I'm coming to terms with that.

God stuff has been okay..not great like it was a few months ago. I need to find a really good devotional to read!! I'm not able to make it to church every week because of work so I need to get on that!! Anyone have any good suggestions?

Anyways..

41. (I think) KN - I'm thankful for this person! This person is wonderful and is someone who I have built a great friendship with. We have been super close at times and not so close at others. I think we're heading back to being close again! I'm happy that this person is a part of my life. Someone I can talk to about anything and knows pretty much all the important things about my life.

I need to start finding more things to be thankful for! I'm going to try for at least 3 things every day! And I'm also going to attempt to do random acts of kindness or send little encouraging messages to my friends via text or Facebook or twitter or something. So be prepared for some nice things and some encouraging words :)

...

39. C & C - two people I have built friendships with during my practicum! :)

40. DJ & Hall & Kids- Teacher and ECE that I had the privilege of working with in Kindergarten! I will miss them all!!

I am sucking at this whole keeping up on my blog thing... and the thankful thing too :/ = FAIL

So this week I started back at Western in classes...they are going okay so far I suppose!  I miss my class though.  Hopefully I will get to stop in on Friday on my way home - if my meeting doesn't go too long!  I get to go home this weekend!!! I'm excited! I get to see my bestie and were going to a birthday "party" :P

I got crappy hours at work this week, so I'll be picking up some shifts at home!! Here I come McDs!!

Well... I seem to have gotten far more boring than I was at the beginning of this blog thing.. I feel like I have nothing to write about - just on a break between classes right now sooo maybe I'll do something interesting later to write about :P

Blurgh!

Again, I haven't been writing on my blog... and I don't know why, because I usually feel better when I do.  Helps me get things off my chest in a way.  And speaking of getting things off my chest - I have been having a not so great evening :(

Actually, it's been a really hard week.  My best friend went down to the states on Wednesday for her brothers wedding this weekend and I really miss her.  And him.  I'm not going to lie.  It really sucks for me and I don't want it to.  I still love him and care about him and I want him to be happy, and this is what is making him happy, so I should be happy for him - and I am!  But it's still hard.  And it still sucks for me.  And I'm being a big baby and sulking about it.  Things were going okay for a while, and then I just knew this day was coming up and I've been stressing myself out over it for no real reason.  I don't want to cry about it any more and I don't want to be sad.  I just want to get over it - and sometimes I feel like I can, and then other times I feel like I never will :( I just feel so alone and that sucks too.

Things with the Big Guy (God) haven't been the greatest lately either, and I know that's a HUGE factor in how I'm feeling.  I was doing good a couple months ago and I was doing really good at putting my trust in Him and talking to Him all the time.  I don't know what happened... yes I do... I started believing lies again!  What is wrong with me?!  I know the things that I'm thinking in my head are not true and yet I still choose to believe the lies... BLURGH!!!  I was doing a devotional before, Battlefield of the Mind, and I really liked it and it was helping a lot.  And then it was over and I started a new one that was kind of lame and I stopped doing it and I think that's where I fell off the grid... fail.  I think I want to get the book Battlefield of the Mind and read it.  I think it will really help.  Problem is that I don't have the extra money to spend on books, or anything really.

Sometimes I hate being a student and living on my own... bills, bills, bills.  But I still love it, because I can handle it!

I wrote a quote on twitter the other day, "So long as you live in the past, you will never find your future."  And it is soooo true!  But, I have to stop living in the past.. and I'm trying not to, but it's really hard when I haven't 'moved on' yet... and I really want to move on :(  I also wrote another one, "God has perfect timing.  Never early and never late.  And it takes a little patience and a lot of faith."  And that's true too! Except I think it takes a little more than just a little patience... I feel like I have been patient for SO LONG! I just want something good to happen... anything!! Something that will help me move on and make me happy again.

I have not even been thinking of what to be thankful for the past while - fail again!! I don't even know what number I am at 30something... But I am thankful for the new friendships I am building with other student teachers at my practicum.  C & C are two people that I have built friendships with and I think they are pretty great people.  I enjoy seeing them everyday at work and I like talking to them :) hopefully they like seeing and talking to me too!  I am also thankful for getting to work with D.J. in her Kindergarten class.  I really am learning a lot from her and I'm thankful for the great reference she will give me one day in the, hopefully near, future!

Now that I've cried it out and blogged about some things, I feel a little better...

I would really appreciate some prayers from my friends, especially tomorrow.  Thank you!

Thanksgiving/BDay

HELLO!!!!

Things have been nuts lately!

This weekend was so busy! I worked on Saturday and then went home to see my family for Thanksgiving/my birthday :) I got to see MOST of the people I wanted to see this weekend so it was good! I got to have a date with SarahM when I got home on Saturday and then I saw Jenneh and we had a McDate :P haha! Spent the night at my besties and then the next day with her for my birthday :) We went to C-Bridge for dinner and then saw a movie! That night I felt really sick, and then ended up getting sick in the night :( Alyssa took me out for breaky and then I went to Patti's :) and she took me out for lunch and then we spent the afternoon together :) Went to my dad's for supper and then went out  with my Nicki :) we went to see my mom too! Probably the best birthday I couldn't have spent it with better people - even though I didn't get to see EVERYONE I was hoping to see this weekend and some I was hoping not to see :/ lol

So the situation - it is getting better I think. I'm not saying what it is, but I will say that it took a step in the right direction this weekend. I'm feeling a little better about certain things. Not 100% or even 60%, but better. Talked to a couple people involved on Sunday and there was hugging and tears and I still wasn't sure how I felt afterward, but I think I decided that it was a good step.

My faith sure has been tested and tried these last few months, especially the last month! Even though things get tough some days I am holding onto God and trusting Him with everything (trying to trust Him with everything anyways). I haven't been doing devos :( - I started a new one a while ago New Day New You, but I wasn't really into it and I didn't keep up with it :( so I need to find a good one that is suitable and interesting! Music is really helping me through stuff though!! I listened to my Casting Crowns CD on Monday on my drive home and it was really refreshing and affirming :) I love the words to their songs!!!

I started my practicum yesterday! Kindergarten for 6 weeks!! The kids are soooooo cute! It is the first year they are doing the FDK and play-based learning, so it's different for everyone. It's really fun and interesting though! I hope to learn a lot during this practicum! I have already learned some things in the last 2 days, so I'm certain I will be learning many more things over the next 5 weeks!

Must get to bed though, long drive in the morning means waking up earlier and going to bed earlier! More tomorrow, I promise!!!

busybusybusy

BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

I feel like I have been so busy lately!! I don't like that I haven't posted anything in a long time!

Well, I started my job here in Londy last week. McDonalds! I'm working there as crew (instead of a manager) and I'm really enjoying it so far! I like the people that I work with and I feel right at home :)

School is going good! This is my last week of classes and then after Thanksgiving I start practicum. I will be teaching at a school in Ingersoll and working in a kindergarten class! I'm nervous and excited to see how this goes. My associate teacher emailed me back and said that they were working on robots, building structures and inventions! That sounds really cool and fun so I'm excited for that!

36. Skype - I am thankful for skype so that I can talk to and see my friends that I don't get to see often or ever :P

37. Practicum - I am thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow as a teacher as well as get more experience in a classroom!

I have a confession to make.... I finished my Battlefield of the Mind devo and then I started a new one .. New Day New You .. and I haven't been keeping up on it :( Like I said, I feel like I have been so busy lately.. I know it's a bad excuse and I need to kick myself in the butt and get back on track! I am trying!

On another note, I get to go home for the weekend this weekend :) for my birthday and Thanksgiving (on the same day!! wooo!!!!) Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. I love turkey :) and it's a time to be thankful for everything that we have :) hopefully I can find more things to be thankful for - I've got a loooooooong way to go to get to 1000!!!

38. The Hunger Games - I know it's something weird to be thankful for but I really enjoy the books and the movie. The books are what helped me get through some things I was dealing with months ago; it was just something I could get lost in and escape my troubles with. Also they are really well written and very interesting! And the movie, I've watched it at least 10 times if not more.

I am currently watching the special features disk from my Hunger Games movie :) I am really enjoying seeing how they put everything together and made their vision come to life! It is so interesting! I love Jennifer Lawrence's voice! And I love Josh Hutcherson :) just love him!

Anywho... I should get to sleep ... I have class at 830am!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been praying for me or keeping me in their thoughts! They are greatly appreciated and, again, have not gone unnoticed! Keep the prayers coming and I will keep you in mine!!

Night!